Dear Sue Ellen
My family don’t like my boyfriend. We have a baby and I want my family to be around us buy my boyfriend says no. Sometime he gets real mad and pushes me around a little bit. That’s why my family doesn’t like him. I know he don’t mean to hurt me. I love him but I miss my family so much. It makes me sad that my baby girl won’t get to know my parents and my sister. I tried to tell my boyfriend that my family won’t get between us but he don’t listen. I am stuck in the middle. He would be real mad if he knew I wrote to you but I am desperate.
Dear Sad Girl,
Let me review. You have a boyfriend you say you love, but he doesn’t want you to be around your family and he gets mad and pushes you around sometimes. I am guessing that he gets mad at you when you don’t do exactly what he tells you to do or when he is in a bad mood, and somehow it always ends up being your fault. He throws a fit and then afterwards he sucks up to you and acts all nice. Am I right?
What I have just described is a classic domestic violence scenario. You say you love him, but how far are you willing to go for love? Are you willing for him to abuse your baby girl? Are you willing to live in fear of making him angry all the time? Are you willing to give up your family for him? Are you willing to go on being abused because you love him?
The way he treats you is not love. In other words, he is not loving you back. He is abusing you. If this continues, he will destroy you. Are you willing to be destroyed for love? Over time you will be stripped of your confidence. What are you teaching your baby girl about life?
Please take your baby and go home to your family before this situation takes a sinister turn and somebody gets really hurt. If your boyfriend loves you he will get help and try to win you back. If he is an abuser he will probably try to punish you for leaving. He may lie to you and say things will be better if you just come back to him, but they won’t unless he gets help. And, things won’t change overnight.
You must make some hard choices or you will be a sad girl all your life and you will teach your baby to grow up and become a sad girl too. Please get help now.
Please email your parenting questions to firstname.lastname@example.org and put “Parent’s Corner” in the Subject line.
If you need help, please call one of the following: Family Violence Unit Hotline-254-813-0968, Families In Crisis – and National Domestic Violence Hotline – 1800-799-7233(SAFE)