Dear Sue Ellen,
Me and my boyfriend were at a party, and it got real weird. He’d had a few beers is all. Suddenly, he got mad and started screaming and then he tried to hit me and I don’t know why. We’ve lived together for five years and have a couple of kids together. A friend took me home that night but my boyfriend hasn’t been home since. He did this one time before, but he promised me he would never do it again. I don’t know what to do.
Dear T. L.
You are giving me a headache. Where do I begin? This whole scenario sounds like some reality TV drama. I would like to climb on a big rock and shout to the whole United States of America. This is what I would say. “People! How you live as adults effects the people around you, especially your kids!” Your life is a train wreck and you are standing on the tracks, looking at the engine headed toward you; wondering what to do.
Are you even slightly aware of the peril you and your children could be in? Do you have a mother? Did she ever talk to you about bad relationships?
Let’s review. You went to a party with your boyfriend. Where were your kids? Do you have a sitter you can trust, or did you leave them with someone who may, or may not, take good care of them? Let’s hope for the best, and assume that someone babysat your children and didn’t molest or abuse them. When you and your boyfriend went out to party that night, did it ever occur to you that he might get drunk, or high or stupid in some other way? If the answer is yes, then how could that possibly be fun for you… unless you were going to do something equally as irresponsible at the party and didn’t care what your boyfriend did? My head is spinning, and we haven’t even gotten to the part where he starts to get violent.
Angry, irrational people are toxic. I’m not hating on them or judging them, it’s just a fact. Those are the kind of people you need to love from a distance. He is the train on your track. What do you do? Get off the track!
I feel for your children. You are subjecting them to an unhealthy lifestyle where there is the threat of domestic violence and abuse. You are a victim too, but you are the adult in the situation and your children are defenseless. You have got to make some serious changes in your life. My best advice to you is stay away from bad boys and bad parties. Focus on raising those two precious children and giving them a loving stable home.
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