Parent’s Corner – Girls That are Mean to Boys

 

3-6-17

Dear Sue Ellen

I hear and see things on the internet and TV about girls that are mean to other girls.  But what about girls that are mean to boys?  My 14-year-old son is crazy about his first girlfriend but she is really mean to him.  He can’t see past her beauty to see that she is selfish and hateful.  Am I supposed to watch this mean girl break his heart and do nothing to prevent it?

C.M

 

 

Dear C.M

 

We all have regrets as parents.  One of my biggest regrets is that I didn’t teach my son to beware of pretty girls with selfish agendas coming after him.  It has caused him a lot of trouble that could have been avoided if he had known that just because a girl is pretty, or smart, or smitten with him it would automatically be a good thing to get close to her.  Trouble and temptation often come wrapped in a beautiful seductive package.

 

There comes a time when we gradually let our children start making their own decisions. If you try to discourage your son at this point, will he listen to you?  Probably not.  Maybe you could sit down with him and express your concerns anyway.  He may not agree, but at least you would have warned him.  When this relationship blows up, don’t you dare tell him “I told you so”.  That would make you a mean Mom.  Be patient, loving and supportive.

 

Have you had the sex talk with him?  Mean girls sometimes use sex to control boys.  He should be aware of that.

 

If your son’s grades start dropping or his personality changes and he becomes moody or unpleasant you might consider taking a harder “tough love” approach and have a family intervention or demand that he break-up with her.  Mean girls like to create discord and strife.  They love the drama.  They also like to isolate their targeted victim from friends and family.  Did I mention that mean girls are sometimes abusive?

 

To all parents of boys:  Please teach your sons about mean girls.  They can destroy a good boy.  Teach your sons to stay away from girls that don’t show good moral character.  Teach them that abstaining from sex until the right time (preferably when they get married) is a good thing.  They won’t die from lack of sex.  To all parents of mean girls:  I am not hating on your daughters.  They are looking for love in the wrong way.  Please show your daughters love and direction.  Teach them the value of being a good person.  You may have to watch your son’s heart be broken by this mean girl.  Whatever direction you choose to go in coping with this situation, temper it with love, patience and kindness.

 

Please email your parenting questions to sejackson@awarecentraltexas.org and put “Parent’s Corner” in the Subject line.

Leadership Belton 2017

Aware is so fortunate and thankful to have been selected as the project for the Leadership Belton  class of 2017. This project, upon completion, will provide a temporary relief house and a safe place for victims of domestic violence, assist agencies in providing comfortable and secure space while they begin the relocating process along with start up of services, and a place for our community to show its deep passion and love to this much needed service.

Please consider making a donation to this worthwhile project by going to our website and clicking on Donate button–  www.awarecentraltexas.org

 

 

 

 

Parent’s Corner – Grannies Gone Wild

 

Dear Sue Ellen

 

I love my 72-year-old Grannie, but I am thinking about grounding her.  Grannie and her (equally-as-old) best friend, Mama Millie, took my daughter for the day.  They told me they were going to the flea market.  When they brought my daughter back her clothes were dirty, she had fake tattoos on her arms, and chocolate smeared on her face.  They totally ignored the instructions I gave them.  My daughter is only four years old.  I never should have let her go.  I don’t want to hurt my Grannie’s feelings but enough is enough.  Any suggestions on how to handle this?

Michelle

 

Dear Michelle,

 

I really want to tell you and your generation to loosen up, but I won’t.  I hope that someday when your Grannie and Mama Millie are up in heaven, you and your daughter can laugh about this.  It’s a charming family story that you could share for the next 2 or 3 generations and, like all family stories, it will change with each telling.  By the time your daughter is a grandmother she may tell the story something like this.  “When I was a toddler, Grannie and Mama Millie took me to Nassau for the day and we swam with Dolphins, sang karaoke and went parasailing.  It was amazing!”

 

Your Grannie sounds like a reflection of her generation.  She was probably a teenager in the 1960’s.  That was a unique time in our history.  Girls wore embroidered sundresses and flowers in their long braids.  They were also on the wild side…okay, that is an understatement.

 

Maybe you can take a moment to reflect on why you love your Grannie.  Do you have any fond memories of being with her when you were a little girl?  Did your parents approve of you spending time with her?   Do you think your daughter’s safety or welfare was compromised, or are you just aggravated because they didn’t follow your instructions?  Here is a little tidbit for you.  Grandparents and even great-grandparents know how to roll their eyes.

 

So here is my suggestion.  Let your daughter be around her Grannie, but maybe the next time she wants to take your daughter and Mama Millie somewhere for the day, you should go too.   Who knows… you may end up with fake tattoos this time.

 

 

Please email your parenting questions to sejackson@awarecentraltexas.org and put “Parent’s Corner” in the Subject line.

Prevention Education Coordinator needed!

POSITION:             Prevention Education Coordinator

Location:                  Belton, Texas

 

 

Duties:       The Prevention Education Coordinator will be responsible for, but not limited to the following tasks and responsibilities:

 

  1. Conduct anti-victimization education and other related programs that promote child abuse/family violence prevention
  2. Provide instruction in classrooms, grades pre-K to 12 as well as provide adult education
  3. Participate in community outreach, including networking with schools and community
  4. Public Speaking
  5. Seek new referral sources for at-risk families and children
  6. Attend various meetings, presentations, events, activities as related to program.
  7. Maintain appropriate documentation including, but not limited to, assessments, weekly and monthly reports, budget report, volunteer files; etc.
  8. Assist in fund raising activities
  9. Ability to work some evenings and weekends
  10. Demonstrate an attitude of willingness to communicate, strategize and work well with others in a team based setting.
  11. Seek professionally qualified consultant services for occurrences/needs outside of the family service plan
  12. Prevention Education Coordinator reports to the Executive Director

 

Minimum Requirements: Applicant must have a bachelor’s degree in psychology, social work or other human services field and one year of experience working with at-risk youth and families.  The Prevention Education Coordinator must perform duties in a responsible and ethical manner.  The Prevention Education Coordinator must be able to effectively communicate with individuals from diverse backgrounds.

 

Consideration: If you would like to be considered as a candidate for this position please e-mail an application, resume, and brief letter of interest to mbiddick@awarecentraltexas.org. Position will remain open until filled.

 

Recognizing the signs of child abuse – from the Temple Daily Telegram

Unfortunately, child abuse is far too prevalent and often goes unnoticed, or worse, ignored. The number of children suffering each year from abuse is staggering. According to the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services, there were 66,721 confirmed cases of child abuse or neglect in Texas in 2015. Among those cases, 8,127 were in Central Texas. Recognizing the telltale signs of child abuse and can save children from suffering abuse in our community.

There are four main types of child mistreatment: physical, neglectful, emotional and sexual abuse. Physical abuse includes physical injury that causes harm or the threat of physical injury to a child. Physical abuse involves punching, shaking, kicking, beating, biting, choking and burning, and is considered abuse regardless of whether the individual intended to hurt the child. Signs that a child is being physically abused include frequent injuries such as bruises, cuts, broken bones, black eyes and burns without plausible explanations; bruises or burns in unusual patterns such as the shape of an object or fingerprints, bite marks, cigarette burns; multiple complaints of pain without obvious injury; fear of going home; aggressive and destructive or passive and withdrawn behavior; clothing that may be hiding injuries to arms or legs, such as wearing long sleeves during summer; or presence of injuries after not seeing the child for several days.

The second type of abuse is neglect, characterized by the intentional failure to provide a child’s basic needs. Signs of neglect include obvious malnourishment, torn or dirty clothing, lack of hygiene, being unattended for long periods of time, frequent absences or tardiness at school, stealing or begging for food, or an unaddressed need for glasses, medical attention, or dental care.

Emotional abuse involves aggressive language, yelling, name calling, insults, humiliation, extreme forms of punishment (such as confining a child in a dark closet), excessive criticism, destruction of personal belongings or withholding attention. Emotional abuse causes significant psychological harm. According to the American Psychological Association, emotional abuse is as harmful as physical or sexual abuse. Signs of emotional abuse include low self-esteem; depression, anxiety or aggression; over-compliance; difficulty making friends; or delayed physical, emotional, or intellectual development.

The fourth type of abuse is sexual abuse. Sexual abuse involves engaging in any form of sexual contact with a child, asking a child to engage in sexual activities, indecent exposure of genitals, exposing a child to pornography or using a child to produce pornography. Signs that a child is being sexually abused include physical signs of a sexually transmitted disease; evidence of injury to genital area; sexual comments or behavior; extreme fear of being alone with adults of a certain gender; sexual knowledge beyond what’s expected for age; pregnancy in a young girl; guilt, self-blame, or depression; nightmares or insomnia; or sexual victimization of other children.

If you are concerned at all that a child is possibly being abused, please call Child Protective Services immediately at 1-800-252-5400. Your call could save a child’s life.

Dr. Nishath Farhad is a pediatric resident at Baylor Scott & White McLane Children’s Medical Center.

Sponsorships for 2016 Christmas on the Farm!

Without these guys, we couldn’t offer COF as a low cost event to the public. Thank you and please utilize their services or buy their products. We are so thankful for our sponsors!!

Seton Medical Center Harker Heights  

Brett Pritchard PC 

Carlson Law Firm 

Baylor Scott & White 

Belltec  Industries

Metroplex Foundation 

____________________

Texell Credit Union –

Texas A & M Central Texas – .

Connell & Associates –

Don Ringler Chevrolet – Texas Best Chevy Dealer –

Bradfield Properties – .

HEB

______________________________________

Hugh & Debbie Shine –

Wire Rope Industries

MTC –

Beechem Equipment –

Strasburger Enterprises –

Bill & Michelle DiGaetano-

R.T. Schneider Construction –

Progressive Protective –

Belton Feed & Supply –

Salado Methodist Church –

Armed Services YMCA –

Wings, Pizza & Things –

DWM First Christian Church –

Extraco Insurance

Temple Founder Lions Club

Special thanks to Jersey Mikes, Coufal Prater & Bragg Trailers & Walmart Distribution!

fullsizerender-7

Domestic Violence Awareness Month- October

domestic-violence

Domestic violence is the willful intimidation, physical assault, battery, sexual assault, and/or other abusive behavior as part of a systematic pattern of power and control perpetrated by one intimate partner against another. It includes physical violence, sexual violence, psychological violence, and emotional abuse. The frequency and severity of domestic violence can vary dramatically; however, the one constant component of domestic violence is one partner’s consistent efforts to maintain power and control over the other.

Domestic violence is an epidemic affecting individuals in every community, regardless of age, economic status, sexual orientation, gender, race, religion, or nationality. It is often accompanied by emotionally abusive and controlling behavior that is only a fraction of a systematic pattern of dominance and control. Domestic violence can result in physical injury, psychological trauma, and in severe cases, even death. The devastating physical, emotional, and psychological consequences of domestic violence can cross generations and last a lifetime.

It is not always easy to determine in the early stages of a relationship if one person will become abusive. Domestic violence intensifies over time. Abusers may often seem wonderful and perfect initially, but gradually become more aggressive and controlling as the relationship continues. Abuse may begin with behaviors that may easily be dismissed or downplayed such as name-calling, threats, possessiveness, or distrust. Abusers may apologize profusely for their actions or try to convince the person they are abusing that they do these things out of love or care. However, violence and control always intensifies over time with an abuser, despite the apologies. What may start out as something that was first believed to be harmless (e.g., wanting the victim to spend all their time only with them because they love them so much) escalates into extreme control and abuse (e.g., threatening to kill or hurt the victim or others if they speak to family, friends, etc.). Some examples of abusive tendencies include but are not limited to:1

  • Telling the victim that they can never do anything right
  • Showing jealousy of the victim’s family and friends and time spent away
  • Accusing the victim of cheating
  • Keeping or discouraging the victim from seeing friends or family members
  • Embarrassing or shaming the victim with put-downs
  • Controlling every penny spent in the household
  • Taking the victim’s money or refusing to give them money for expenses
  • Looking at or acting in ways that scare the person they are abusing
  • Controlling who the victim sees, where they go, or what they do
  • Dictating how the victim dresses, wears their hair, etc.
  • Stalking the victim or monitoring their victim’s every move (in person or also via the internet and/or other devices such as GPS tracking or the victim’s phone)
  • Preventing the victim from making their own decisions
  • Telling the victim that they are a bad parent or threatening to hurt, kill, or take away their children
  • Threatening to hurt or kill the victim’s friends, loved ones, or pets
  • Intimidating the victim with guns, knives, or other weapons
  • Pressuring the victim to have sex when they don’t want to or to do things sexually they are not comfortable with
  • Forcing sex with others
  • Refusing to use protection when having sex or sabotaging birth control
  • Pressuring or forcing the victim to use drugs or alcohol
  • Preventing the victim from working or attending school, harassing the victim at either, keeping their victim up all night so they perform badly at their job or in school
  • Destroying the victim’s property

It is important to note that domestic violence does not always manifest as physical abuse. Emotional and psychological abuse can often be just as extreme as physical violence. Lack of physical violence does not mean the abuser is any less dangerous to the victim, nor does it mean the victim is any less trapped by the abuse.

Additionally, domestic violence does not always end when the victim escapes the abuser, tries to terminate the relationship, and/or seeks help. Often, it intensifies because the abuser feels a loss of control over the victim. Abusers frequently continue to stalk, harass, threaten, and try to control the victim after the victim escapes. In fact, the victim is often in the most danger directly following the escape of the relationship or when they seek help: 1/5 of homicide victims with restraining orders are murdered within two days of obtaining the order; 1/3 are murdered within the first month.2

Unfair blame is frequently put upon the victim of abuse because of assumptions that victims choose to stay in abusive relationships. The truth is, bringing an end to abuse is not a matter of the victim choosing to leave; it is a matter of the victim being able to safely escape their abuser, the abuser choosing to stop the abuse, or others (e.g., law enforcement, courts) holding the abuser accountable for the abuse they inflict.

Save the Date – Barnes & Noble Bookfair

 

Saturday, October 29, 2016 @ 9 am at the Market Heights Barnes & Noble, plus five days of additional online accumulation through November 4. Our bookfair proceeds will arrive mid-November in time for the purchase of new books for Christmas On The Farm! Remember online means you can help from anywhere! Thank you in advance!

barnes-noble-bookfair

 

Urgent Help Needed ASAP

Microphone AnnouncementAttention: ALL Certified Volunteers

We need your help! The task involves reviewing scanned documents and renaming it based on the date and title/description. You need a computer and a secure internet connection. Most private home WIFIs are okay.

This is a time-sensitive and confidential assignment. Please contact Dd for background information and details.

(254) 307-9098 (call or text)
ecdedios@awarecentraltexas.org

Respectfully,
Dd
Family Violence Unit Director

 

 

 

Paid Position Available: FVU Community / Social Service Specialist

Position Summary

Under the direction of the Family Violence Unit Director, the FVU Community / Social Service Specialist will direct, manage, supervise, and coordinate the activities and operations of the Family Violence Unit, to include but not limited to: providing direct service to victims and survivors of domestic violence, facilitating peer support groups, assisting victims with Crime Victim’s Compensation, Permanent Protective Orders, and other relevant services unique to individual needs. The FVU Community / Social Service Specialist will also oversee volunteer advocate activity to include (but not limited to) recruiting, retention, and training. Fringe benefits includes 1.5 days of PTO (Paid Time Off) per month.

For More Information

Visit http://bit.ly/fvu1718.

To Apply

Schedule an interview, by calling Dd at (254) 307-9098, Monday-Friday, between 3PM-5PM.